St Jimmy

I like the book of James in the New Testament. I like to think of James as Jimmy, the Glaswegian half-brother of Jesus fae the East End. James is a gutsy book, close to the edge some might say, immensely practical and straight talking, thus my theory that James (aka Jimmy) was Scottish. Our country has St Andrew as its ‘patron saint’ but I think Jimmy would do better in his place.

He starts of with trials and temptations, what to do with them and how to endure. He then goes on to talk about watching your mouth. Then he goes on to talk about making sure you don’t promote the wealthy above the poor before teaching about getting your sleeves rolled up and getting on with it. After re-capping on keeping your mouth shut, he then talks about making sure you’re not fighting with your family in the faith and about making sure God is number one. Towards the end, a warning to rich oppressors, a pep talk about being patient in suffering again before his classic ending:

“If yer in bother, talk tae the Big Man aboot it. If yer happy as Larry, gee it laldy and let Him hear yer song. Ur ye no weel? Get yer pals roon and get them tae pit a wee bit oil oan yer heid and Jesus will do the business. And, before ye can run round the table and take a swipe at the cat, as long as yer believin, ye’ll be fine. Mare than that, if ye tell each other whit ye’ve been up tae, ye’ll be even better. If yer guid, yer prayers will work fine.

Thon Elijah wis a bloke jeest like yersel. He was prayin that it widnae rain (like maist Gleswegians) and it didnae….fur a hale three an’ a hoff year! Wance he wis fed up with the dry, he did the business again and it poored until we were a’ drookit…it wis bouncin’ aff the flair past yer knees.

Mind this though, if sumbuddy goes aff the rails, make sure and grab haud o ees jaikit because if ye can stoap him, ye’ll hae done wonders.”

Gaun yersel Jimmy!

PS. Jimmy is listed as being the patron saint of drug dealers (pharmasists!)…no comment!

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sincere apologies to the non-Scottish readers…normal service will soon be resumed!

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