Well, here’s hoping that normal bloggin can resume!
So, the last couple of days I’ve been blogging about how I’m feeling at the moment. Which, of course, doesn’t really reflect how I feel now, but I have a genuine feeling of ‘disturbance’ and thats usually interesting. Thats what I get for asking that God would disturb me.
The one thing that is troubling me is that at the moment I don’t have a ‘personal’ ministry. What I mean by that is this….yes, I have the corps ministry with all that goes with that. You know, the preaching, teaching, leading, envisioning…all that. Basically, I have had very little opportunity recently to get involed personally in a direct way in evangelism and spreading the Kingdom.
Looking back, I’ve ALWAYS had something that has been a ministry ‘apart from’ but ‘part of’ my Army ministry. I mean, I’ve always did what I’ve done as a salvationist, but not necessarily with other salvationists or even specificially related to my immediate responsibilites to a particular corps.
A big part of that has always been to do with the rougher end of society. Since I was a young salvationist, I’ve always personally been involved with ministering to the homeless. As a young lad of 16, I used to spend my pocket money on a can of soup, water it down and pour it into a flask and head to Glasgow to be what I could be to whoever looked as if then needed a cup of watery soup.
At Bible college it was part of my responsibility as Evangelism Outreach Co-ordinator to do that, so again, a part of my salvationist calling worked out in other ways. Again at Dennistoun, when the corps was really getting me down, I joined up with a local church and offered to cook soup every week for the prostitutes and pimps etc. Making that soup was like administering the sacraments. I really was. And I miss that.
At training college, I was part of the Soho team. It is such a common thread of my personal ministry and I miss it badly. I have a heart for the poor and I miss the poor. I meet Jesus when I meet the poor. I mean, I meet him elsewhere, but nowhere so tangible as sitting on the ground giving a cup of something to someone. I might do something about that…
Apart from that, I’ve always had opportunity to have the time for some personal evangelistic enterprise. Since I found Jesus, I’ve always invested personal time in evangelism, again, as a salvationist, but purely personal initiative and not something corps organised. The Salvation Army is a part of who I am, and I guess thats why its like that.
I am really desperate for just a little bit of time where I, myself, can lead by example in having that degree of personal outreach/evangelism. Its funny, there is mention of that kinda thing in the Os & Rs for Officers…talks about the need for an officer to fight his own individual war too.
I pray that God will disturb me that little bit more so that I can just sense again that urgency that frees me to see truly what is important and what is despensible in my current life/ministry pattern to engage in my own war. Know what I mean?