I smiled when I read the title quote in the book ‘The Emotionally Healthy Leader’ by Peter Scazerro. What he’s saying is that the amazing work of salvation is both instant and a journey. We transfer Kingdoms, but we are formed and hardwired is so many different ways due to our upbringing, early influences and life’s experiences.
I’ve spent a good ten years now seeking to be aware of the ‘Grandpa in my bones’ – all the ways in which my ‘shadow’ displays itself in the day to day exchanges of life. Scazerro’s book has to be one of the most helpful I’ve read recently, and his arguments are not only very helpful, but profoundly challenging.
I think of myself 20 years ago as a ‘leader’ and I raise my eyebrows at myself. Most of us probably would. There are countless things I wish I’d have done differently, things I’d have said differently. There are people I treated in a certain way because of how I am, not because of who there were. And to be honest, it still happens…but thank God I am almost always immediately aware of it…and most of the time, on reflection, I have the grace to say sorry.
Thing is, the amount of years in ministry or discipleship doesn’t always guarantee maturity or even a developing ‘getting better at it.’ It is perfectly possible to do 18 years in ministry but to do the same year again and again 18 times, learning nothing. A much greater challenge is to grow through your leadership. Stay humble. Remain teachable. Stick your hands up to getting it wrong. Not only is this just the most honest way to be, it is also the healthiest. Some of the worst examples of leadership are in those who haven’t received the gift of Robert Burns’ hopeful prayer:
‘O wad some Pow’r the giftie gie us, tae see oursels as ithers see us. It wid fae mony a blunder free us, an foolish notion!’
I quote that little line to myself more often that I’d like!
The ‘Grandpa in our bones’ is not good or bad. It just is. Our life has shaped us. Our emotional and mental set up at this moment is the result of all the places we’ve been and what we’ve experienced. Most important is the execise in becoming aware of the internal movements of our heart and make them the focus of our prayer.
Why? Because that’s where the leader grows, develops, and where the gift within him/her is refreshed for the blessing of the body. Let me leave you with another quite from Scazerro:
“Leading a church, an organisation, or a ministry that transforms the world requires more than the latest leadership strategies and techniques. Lasting change in churches and organisations requires men and women committed to leading from a deep and transformed inner life. We lead more out of who we are than out of what we do, strategic or otherwise. If we fail to recognise that who we are on the inside informs every aspect of our leadership, we will do damage to ourselves and those we lead.”
Last word to Richard Rohr: ‘If you don’t transform your pain, you will transmit it.’
It is never to late to visit Grandpa.